Here we go again. I hadn't planned to look at my blog this morning. I mean, maybe I'd thought about it in the past couple weeks, but for months before that remembrance had been sparse. This is not to say that I haven't thought of my South Africa trip--bits and clips of those 3 months bubble up up from somewhere on at least a weekly basis. But this writing thing that I found myself doing last year...it's like I went through a time warp. I just popped out of it this morning around 11. I lurched towards my Mac, all covered in chrono-goo and puking up my last meal. With a halting confidence my fingers searched Firefox's bookmark tags for the blogger dashboard. Having clicked it, my mind was ill-prepared for the initial overview page, featuring a graph showing viewing history and offering toolbars on every margin. After many weighty seconds, I found the "View blog" button--my salvation--and fell into the deep blue comfort of the Rare Vertebrate.
Aaaaaaaaaahhhhh.......just as I left it. Now what to talk about? Ah yes:
Last night I re-watched the film "Adaptation." I remembered enjoying it the first time, and I did so again. I suspect that the first time I watched "Adaptation" it's themes resonated because of the evolution backdrop and the awkwardness of the protagonist. This time around, both Nicholas Cage's protagonist (Charlie) and Meryl Streep's character (Susan) reached me in a new way. They were bonded in a way by their task of writing either the book or screenplay version of a story about an "Orchid Thief." Their task was their bond; their deeper bond, though (if only imagined by the hero), was rooted in a certain psychological vacancy. In her New York intellectual life, Susan lacked an understanding of passion. This led her to follow John Laroche, the orchid thief, into rather wild physical and mental environments. For his part, Charlie wanted for an identity, and a focused mind. He ended up sacrificing his one self-admitted strength--artistic integrity--in an attempt to deal with very deep and damaging personal and interpersonal weaknesses. The pleasure of this meta-narrative is the irony of seeing Charlie's many self-deconstructions. Each one seems to lead him to a more and more precarious place inside his own life's script, while allowing the real audience to view the authentic and entertaining screenplay that Charlie imagined. This resulting movie is a surreal mix of art and action, ethos and pathos.
Their personal insights (stemming from some deeply personal problems)
led the characters to highs and lows of both creative expression and moral actions. But some of the best wisdom comes from these two characters' biggest inspirations in the movie. Laroche inspires Susan (for better or for worse) to feel and pursue passion. Charlie's muse is Robert McKee, a hard-nosed writing guru whose popularized advice Charlie initially dismisses. The real-world (and really profane) words of "Bob" is the moral turning point in Charlie's tale.
You see, I was moved by the dual paths of Susan and Charlie, and the notion of the edge between creation and destruction--more pointedly, between self-creation and self-destruction. Charlie, low on sleep, over-stressed, and just plain sad is importantly contrasted by Donald, the character who is at once the most straightforward and enigmatic of the film. "Don" could either be Charlie's twin brother or a split personality--it doesn't really matter. Either way, he is a gregarious, successful, and happy part of Charlie that Charlie unsuccessfully tries to suppress. Even though Charlie never really agrees with Don's "Hollywood" screenwriting techniques, he makes moves towards Don's personal outlook. Don's fateful words--applicable to Charlie, Susan, and every member of the audience--were these: "You are what you love, not what loves you. That's what I decided a long time ago." This is advice that belongs in the hands of children, but needs to be repeated to adults throughout their lives. This advice moved me. I want to be identified (and self-identify) by what it is I love. I do not want to walk down any path any more simply based on what loves me. And I should know at my age what I love--I'm pretty sure it's this thing I've been doing for almost 2 hours now. Analysis. Creation. Persuasion. Being inside my head but thinking of the audience outside. In a word: communication. This is my return to form. I hope to see you soon.
